Week 10 - Siblings

I was the youngest of four siblings with ages ranging twenty years. My mother told the story that I asked if Jackie (my oldest brother) was a relative or just a friend of the family. My first playmates were my nieces and nephews. There were ten year between me and my next sibling, so I basically grew up as an only child. My father's side of the family is scant. That's the best way to describe them. For the past three or so generations, there were no more than four children born in each family group and several of those groups had no children at all. My dad had one first cousin on his maternal side, and just a small handful on the paternal side. My Powers cousins are few and far between. My mother's side of our family, on the other hand, is quite prolific. While her mother is only one of eight, her father is one of twelve children.

In 1907, John Henry Ditmore (known as Henry) and his wife, Malora (nee Ayers) migrated from North Carolina to the small western Oklahoma town of Hydro, in Caddo County. Their eight oldest children traveled with them, including Ora, who was less than one year old, as they came by train halfway across the continent. I can't imagine a trip of that distance with so many young children, even if they did come by train. Their daughter, Minnie, was born in 1891; her youngest sibling, Lola, was born twenty-three years later. In between then were ten more siblings. 

Henry, Malora and ten of their children, 1920

From the 1920 through the 1930 census, other than Frankie Joe and Troy who both died young, all the children except the two youngest were married and living in close proximity to Henry and Malora. Henry had come from a family of fourteen children, and his father was one of ten. Several of his siblings and cousins either settled in or passed through this tiny town around this same time which tells me they were a close-knit family. 

The Ditmore Family, 1934

Over the next twenty years, several of the children moved away. Oda went to El Paso, Texas, where he owned a jewelry store (just as a side note - Oda was an avid golfer and one of his caddie's was none other than Lee Trevino); Ora and her husband moved to San Antonio, Texas; Myrtle, and for a time Glen, moved to Oklahoma City; but the remainder of the children, and now their families, remained in western Oklahoma, some moving to nearby Weatherford, in Custer County. Henry died in 1934 and Malora in 1951, but the sibings remained close.

Some of the siblings and their children, c 1950s

By the time I was born, family get-togethers were simply a fact of life. I lived with my parents in Oklahoma City, but most every weekend we headed to Weatherford (where my grandparents now lived) for a visit. Depending on the week, everyone might gather at my grandparents' house, or we might go to Sunday dinner at Great-uncle Carl's or out to Great-aunt Lola's farm. There was no telling how many other great-uncle or great-aunt's families would be there. It didn't really matter because there was always enough food for a small army (which we certainly had the numbers for). It was not uncommon for one of the siblings who had moved away to return with their children, and sometimes grandchildren in tow, for a weekend trip, regardless of the distance. The women could usually be found in the whatever kitchen we were visiting, and the "menfolk" were either hanging out in the living room, sitting around in the screened-in porch, or standing out in the yard smoking. The children, and there were a lot of us, were running around like chickens with our heads cut off, all through the house and the yard. When we were acting wilder than normal, a few brave adults would load us up in cars and take us toe Means Park to run off some energy. Almost every weekend was a family reunion.

When the weather was nice, plans might take us for a picnic at nearby Red Rock Canyon State Park in Hinton, or a trip to Fort Cobb Reservoir (I remember someone having a boat, but as my mother was terrified of the water, I was never permitted anywhere near it). Siblings and their families taking vacations together was commonplace. Although my immediate family didn't go, my grandparents with one or more of my grandfather's siblings as away as California to the west and North Carolina to the east.

Remaining Siblings, 1966

Growing up, I knew all these people were family, but I didn't really grasp the realization they were brothers and sisters. I've been around large families with many siblings, but I've never see the closeness portrayed in any others that I saw with my great-aunt and uncles. The caring and tenderness of this tight-knit group continued throughout their entire lives. The love and devotion they shared was evident. I don't ever recall hearing a cross word amongst any of them. They truly enjoyed spending time together; they simply liked each other's company. As the siblings aged, and their children, and eventually their grandchildren, began to lead their own lives, those weekly get togethers faded, but the memories of these wonderful family times will live on in all of us that had the privilege of experiencing them. As I write this, I can hear the laughter, I can see the smiles, and I can feel the love that surrounded all of us.

 

 Week 9 - Family Secret

I was never much of a "soap opera" fan, but I must say that I was sort of engaged with General Hospital during the Luke and Laura phase. What a saga that was! The story line was, for the time, provocative, seductive, and all the things that you can see watching just about anything on TV today. We all lived in a revolving door with a constant turn of events that kept us on the edge of seats, and tuning in day after day. The writers had to have gotten the material from somewhere, and I think they may have known the ancestors on one of my out-laws family trees. There is no doubt skeletons reside in that closet, but as it doesn't directly affect my own line, the names I've used are completely fiction.

Somebody knew something because the rumor has quietly floated about for years that the father of Charles Smith, and possibly one of his brothers, was not Mr. Smith. Charles got married and had a couple of sons, one who became part of my family tree. It was Charles' ex-wife who mentioned the rumor to me, but her boys were adamant that it couldn't possibly be true.

Well, it is...

Louise Haden was born in Missouri around 1921. John Smith, just three years older, was a laboratory technician in the oil industry. Whether his job took him to Missouri, or Louise removed to Pennsylvania, is unclear, but we do know they were united in marriage in Kansas City in July 1945. Their oldest son, John Smith, Jr., is enumerated with them in the 1950 census, along with their one-year-old son, Charles. Two more sons followed in quick succession, in 1951, and 1952. Just your typical All-American family living in Clifton Heights, Delaware County, Pennsylvania.

Sound of a tape rewinding...

According to that same 1950 census, John Jr. is already seven year old so there is a six-year span between the brothers. It's certainly possible that John Jr.'s age was given incorrectly because we have John and Louise's marriage certificate from 1945. The census also states that both children were born in Pennsylvania. A six-year span is not unusual, but with the three additional boys so close together, a suspicious mind might start the wheels turning. Nonetheless, the family existed as if nothing were awry.

The next tidbit of information is important to remember. In 1913, a Jewish family, which included thirteen-year-old Abraham Levi Goldberg, immigrated from Russian to Philadelphia. In 1923, he married Leah Rosenberg and they became parents to a daughter the next year. This was the only child they had, together. By the late 1940's, Abraham and Leah made their home in Philadelphia, but Abraham worked in nearby Delaware County.

At first glance, it would make sense that John Jr. might not be John's son. There is that six-year span between him and Charles, and the fact that John Jr. was born before his parents married, but the rumor began to circulate that Charles, not John Jr., wasn't John's son. Charles' wife heard about it before her own children were born and they are now upwards of fifty-years-old. Regardless, the only common denominator in Abraham and Louise's life is Delaware County, unless you count the fact that Charles' middle name was Levi. There is no information about when or where their paths might have crossed even one time, much less enough for Abraham to have fathered two of Louise's sons. For all these years, the rumor remained just that...a rumor.

As it turns out, John Smith died in 1957, leaving Louise with four young sons. Ironically, Leah Goldberg died that same year. Grasping for straws here, I assume that Abraham wanted to live closer to his job, which is how and why he became a board in Louise Smith's home. The couple may have married earlier, but wasn't until 17 May 1985 when Louise changed the name on her Social Security file from Louise Smith to Louise Goldberg. No marriage record for them has been found in available records. The four boys grew up, married, and moved away. Prior to 1983, Abraham and Louise retired and moved to Florida where Abraham died in 1987.

As fate would have it, on her deathbed in 2003, Louise told her oldest son, John Jr., that his biological father was not John Smith, but a man from her home state of Missouri named Johnson. John Jr. spared no time changing his legal name to John Johnson. In most stories handed down, there is usually a grain of truth. Could this have actually been the "secret" referred to in the rumor learned by Charles' wife? Did she hear wrong and the rumor referred to John Jr. all along? It appeared the rumor was finally put to rest...until a grandchild had his DNA tested.

The Leads Method of sorting your autosomal DNA matches, places them, in most cases, in four categories, each one representing your four grandparents. This usually works well unless you have twisted family tree which often results from intermarriages between two families, or other anomalies. When this grandchild's DNA results came in, it clearly shows four familiar groups. Two were easy to identify, as they matched my daughter on each of her parents' lines. One was full of the names of Charles' wife's family (the grandchild's other grandmother) that she had provided. The fourth line had a total of eight distant matches, not a single, solitary one was a Smith. Those eight distant matches had no name in common. None were Goldberg's. The only thing they did all have in common, however, were that their names were all typical Russian Jewish surnames - Levin, Robinovich, Sirotovsky, Khavkin.

Is it a coincidence that the grandchild's DNA matches only a few distant relatives with Russian Jewish surnames? Or that Charles Smith's middle name is the same as Abraham Goldberg's? If Abraham was Charles' father, why didn't Louise confess it on her deathbed, as she did when she told her oldest son about his biological father? We will likely never know for certain if Abraham Goldberg is the biological father of Charles Smith, but one thing for certain is that John Smith was not. Oh, and the photos below? One is Abraham Goldberg's granddaughter; the other is my granddaughter. They are not related...on paper.