Week 17 - DNA

When DNA was eventually made affordable to the public, I couldn’t wait to have mine tested. The results provided an ethnic origin estimate (which varies widely depending on which company you test with) and a list of other test takers with whom I share a genetic match. I was anxious to connect with distant cousins in order that we could share our love of genealogy and hopefully fill in some blank spaces in our family trees.

I asked my brother to have his Y-DNA tested because our Powers’ line ends just a few generations back and I desperately want to know more about my paternal line. Y-DNA goes from father to father to father, etc. Having his DNA tested did provide a connection to other Powers’ descendants and although we know there is a common ancestor back there somewhere, it still needs some work to define exactly where and when. I’m confident I’ll have that brick wall broken down before too long.

I then enlisted the help of a Pennington cousin in order to help with proving our descent from a Revolutionary Patriot. I was convinced of the lineage, but a saying among family historians kept swirling around in my head, “Genealogy without documentation is mythology.” Because my cousin was willing to submit a sample, we were able to use scientific proof, in the way of Y-DNA, to connect our family tree with another family tree which was able to document their descent. I will be forever grateful to “NCP” for happily agreeing to have his cheek swabbed. He never hesitated when he was asked and our entire family was able to benefit by extending our family tree several more generations into the past.

Having my Autosomal DNA tested has also allowed my family tree to expand. Among those additions is a lovely lady, a former Los Angeles Police officer who recently retired to Florida, who wanted to connect with her mother’s side of the family. We were distantly related, but I was definitely intrigued to help her. While we only share enough DNA to be roughly third to fourth cousins, we were both eager to put our heads (and our trees) together to find a connection. This woman is of African descent so we both assumed that our connection occurred in the deep south, likely before emancipation. We were happily surprised to find that our connection actually occurred with a German immigrant in my family tree, and a free woman of color from hers, in St. Louis, Missouri, around 1880. As it turns out, we are third cousins once removed.

Whenever I help someone research their family history and they ask about DNA, the first thing I always say is that 1) DNA doesn't lie, and 2) they need to be prepared for any results. Many adopted who are interested in learning more about their own heritage have turned to DNA testing companies in order to locate their biological family. You never know when one might match with your DNA and you find out about a secret that has been kept hidden. This I have learned through personal experience.

A recent instance involves a young woman who was raised by her mother, but without certainty of who her biological father is, contacted me as we matched with a significantly high number of centimorgans (the unit of measure to determine the relationship between two people). I was most curious to find her place in my tree.  Her mother had only recently given her the name of her biological father and he is a close relative of mine. I was more than happy to share our family history, but once she was satisfied her mother had given her the correct name, she “ghosted” me. It’s apparent she does not want a relationship with our family but was only looking for verification. I hope that one day she will reach out again.

A woman, about my age, reached out a few years ago. She was given up for adoption at birth and our DNA matched at 236 centimorgans, which roughly equals second cousins. Secrets or not, I was eager to help her find which of our ancestors we shared. The couple who adopted her were great folks and she had never been interested in trying to find her biological family. Her sister, who was also adopted, had her DNA tested ‘on a whim’ and almost immediately found hers. This sparked an interest.  It didn’t take long to figure out how we were related, and I was acquainted with, who we believed to be, her biological mother.  Her assumptive mother was a cousin of my own mother. She lived out of state and I felt comfortable enough in giving her a call. It was probably the strangest call I’ve ever made. I told her about this woman who had contacted me because we shared DNA and that I was helping her try and figure out how she fit into our family. I asked if she remembered a baby girl being given up for adoption around this woman’s birthdate. She “really thought hard,” but then said nothing at all came to memory. We began to chat and catch up, but she kept breaking in to ask questions about this new-found cousin. Had I met her? Seen a picture? What did she look like? Was she married? Did she have any children? Where did she live? Just an almost constant barrage requesting details. Then she told me that if this DNA match wanted to talk to her, please give out her phone number. The two did make contact and over the course of the next few years, they developed a relationship, but my mother’s cousin never admitted to being the biological mother. She even offered to submit a DNA sample to “prove” it wasn’t her, which she did. The results were exactly as we expected…she was the mother. Even with this, she was adamant the DNA was wrong, and my new cousin graciously didn’t push the issue. My mom’s cousin died in 2020 and although she took her secret to the grave, her daughter was happy just to get to know her biological mother, in whatever capacity she was willing.

One more cousin (who you will learn more about in the coming weeks) and I met more than twenty years ago. She was also given up for adoption at birth but through a lot of hard work and determination (pre-DNA) was able to find our family, being the daughter of a double cousin of my mother. She has been my best friend since the day we met and I knew that she was my cousin the minute I laid eyes on her. I wanted her to have her DNA tested a few years ago, not to prove that we were related, but to help find more family on her branch of our tree. She was reluctant at first, and asked, “But what if we find out I’m not who we think I am?” Well, as I mentioned, DNA doesn’t lie and although she was hesitant to test at first, I think she really felt more a part of our family after seeing the proof.

DNA can open a whole new world for many, or it can cause chaos and upheaval for others. Anyone having their DNA tested can have their entire life turned upside down in an instant by looking at their results. Secrets that have been kept for just a few years, or for several generations, might be revealed. It’s up to each person to accept what is found and hopefully to make the best of any situation. I come from a very large family and have cousins everywhere. If you are considering having your DNA tested and are fortunate enough to pop up in our family, you may as well prepare yourself to be welcomed with open arms, whether you want it or not.