Week 42 – Friends

 

There is a saying among members of the Daughters of the American Revolution, “Friends you make in DAR will last a lifetime.”  I know this statement to be true.  I doubt, however, that it initiated with DAR, as I believe a group of like-minded women, of any composition, make long-lasting friendships.  So was the case with the Ladies Association of Philadelphia during the Revolutionary war.

Henrietta Cox (Boude) Hillegas was born 17 January 1731 in Philadelphia to Samuel Boude and Deborah Cox.  On 10 February 1732, she was baptized in Christ Church in the same place where she would marry Michael Hillegas on 10 May 1753.  Her life in Philadelphia was one of wealth and privilege. Her husband’s relationships with notable Philadelphians led her to become close friends with Sarah Franklin Bache, daughter of Benjamin Franklin.

On Saturday, 12 June 1780, “Sentiments of an American Woman” was published in a broadside in Philadelphia, which was written by Esther De Berdt Reed.  She called for her female peers to dismiss the notion that women were not patriotic and beckoned them into service by stating that they should be “animated by the purest patriotism, born for liberty.”  Her words had an instant effect.  Within a few days, a group of women had met and formed the “Ladies Association of Philadelphia.” The members divided themselves into districts, and thirty-six, high-born, upper-class ladies, in teams of two to four began knocking on all doors and collecting donations to aid the cause of American Independence.  Henrietta Cox Boude Hillegas, was among them. While there are several versions of how the ladies’ solicitations were received by their donors, by early July they had collected more than $300,000 Continental dollars from more than sixteen hundred residents. It was a considerable sum for the day.  Unfortunately, Esther De Berdt Reed did not live to see how her words affected the women across the colonies, as she died the following month.

The ladies initially wanted to donate the funds directly to the soldiers for their service, however General George Washington had other ideas. He feared that by providing cash in their pockets, many might choose to drink it away.  He, instead, recommended that shirts be made for them.  Although somewhat dismayed at General Washington’s response, the ladies immediately set to work making the shirts. By December, more than two thousand shirts had been made. The Marquis de Chastellux visited the home of Sarah Franklin Bache where he reported that “on each shirt was the name of the married or unmarried lady who made it.” 

A letter from General Washington to the ladies, intimated his appreciation for their efforts:

To Mrs.  Francis, Mrs. Hillegas, Mrs. Clarkson, Mrs. Bache, and Mrs. Blair.

New Windsor,

13 February 1781

Ladies

The benevolent office, which added lustre to the qualities that ornamented your deceased friend, could not have descended to more zealous or more deserving successors. The contributions of the association you represent have exceeded what could have been expected, and the spirit that animated the members of it entitles them to an equal place with any, who have preceded them in the walk of female patriotism. It embellishes the American character with a new trait, by proving that the love of country is blended with those softer domestic virtues, which have always been allowed to be more peculiarly your own.

You have not acquired admiration in your own country only, it is paid to you abroad, and you will learn with pleasure, by a part of your own sex, where female accomplishments have attained their highest perfection, and who from the commencement have been the patronesses of American liberty.

The army ought not to regret its sacrifices or sufferings, when they meet with so flattering a reward, as in the sympathy of your sex; nor can it fear that its interests will be neglected, while espoused by advocates as powerful as they are amiable. I can only answer to the sentiments, which you do me the honor to express for me personally, that they would more than replay a life devoted to the service of the public and to testimonies of gratitude to yourselves. Accept the assurance of the perfect respect and esteem, with which I am, Ladies, your most obedient, &c.

G Washington

This letter acknowledges the patriotism and service in cause for American Independence and allows each of these women to be recognized as Revolutionary Patriots in their own right. I am privileged to be the member of the DAR who first proved the service of my fifth great-grandmother, Henrietta Cox Boude Hillegas - patriot # A207751.

Throughout the Revolutionary War period, Henrietta had close friends whose husbands were some of the movers and shakers of the time. In addition to her close friendship with Sarah Franklin Bache, Anne Francis (wife of Tench Francis), and her cousin, Mary Boude Clarkson, she became well acquainted with Dolly Quincy Hancock, wife of John Hancock, who spent much time in Philadelphia acting in her role as "First Lady", her husband being named Colonial President. Letters between these friends survive to this day.

The same bond shared by these women has been passed down through generations in most all facets of life. Whether it be through friendship derived from school, sororities, neighborhood, church, work, or organizations such as the Daughters of the American Revolution and friendship found in DAR, I'd love to have the opportunity to share it with you.